So I'm a terrible Communicator!
Its not something that i'm proud of but anyone who knows me long enough will tell you so....I really do mean well and I will not love you anyless even if we go 3 years or more without speaking the moment i see or eventually get in touch with you or even just think about you it will be like the last time we met... I know a couple of people who think and feel the same as me and you should see how we pick up after however long we go without communication.
On the other hand, I have been blessed to know, love and be loved by very many effective communicators, people that keep in touch all the time..... that will call to let you know they have woken up or are just thinking about you or wondering whether you are thinking about them or just to tell you what they are upto or to ask you what you are upto and so on.... I love these people with all my heart and love to hear from them..... they make me feel really guilty though for my terrible communication.
Once in a while I will leave my phones somewhere or they will be in silent or something and my effective communicators will not be able to get to me and this upsets and frustrates them..... I try, but sometimes I fail.....
so, the big question....
should I try harder and change or should they be understanding of my weakness...... after all, no one is perfect......
let me know what you think.....
I just posted an interesting and long comment here . And just before i could hit send, I hit some thing else and the whole page just disappeared.
ReplyDeleteSo, let me first get the muse back and then comment. My comment was long by the way , quite long...........
will be patiently waiting.... I know that can be really frustrating....
DeleteSo, I don't think I will be able to write it like the first time.
ReplyDeleteHowever, I think it works both ways .
First they should do better to understand you and have it at the back of their minds always that you do not intentionally just not communicate.
But also , you need to understand that to ''effective communicators'' as you put it, communication is an expression of love. So when you do not communicate, they feel less loved and less appreciated. It is not a choice, it is not like one sits down and decides to feel less loved but it just happens. It's the way they are wired.
So, with that in mind, you also need to try a bit more to communicate more because communication is the only real way in which you can express love to a communicator.
It is like the love languages. To best communicate love to someone, you need to speak their language. That is why, to someone who is like you , they will totally understand you 100% and be okay even after 3 years of not talking.
However, on the other hand like I said, they should also understand you better and try to make the most of the times when you do interact whether it is by a physical meeting or otherwise.
At the end of the day, both sides can not be perfect so, both sides need to above all understand the other person's point of view. It makes it a lot easier.
Because when one understands you, then they won't be mad when you do not communicate for a while .
Also, when you understand that communication makes the other person feel loved and appreciated, you will be more willing to try a bit harder because you understand that , that may be the way to get through to them.
BUt overall, I can not put the burden on you , neither can I crucify the other person for not understanding.......................
Finally, sometimes it boils down to the kind of relationship you have with a person. If they are really close friends, then you need to effectively communicate regardless of whether the other person is an effective communicator or not .
I don't know if I have helped at all .....
You make a very good point..... I will keep trying....
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