Treasure..... and darkness!!!!!

Matthew 6:19-24 (New International Version)

Treasures in Heaven
19 "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. 20 But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. 21 For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. 22 "The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are good, your whole body will be full of light. 23 But if your eyes are bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness! 24 "No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money.

This portion of scripture really got me thinking long and hard.... I have truly fallen short and far..... I have become overwhelmed with storing up treasures on earth and forgotten to how to live beyond the physical... so much so that I don't know whether I can find my way back! 

On this earth, all things fade away.... I need to remember the things that are everlasting! 

When was it that I ceased to control money and it began to control me?

When was it that the things that gave me joy could so easily be taken away from me and take my joy with them?

Verse 22-23 were quite a puzzle for me when I read them 3 years ago! Now the darkeness I see and harbor inside of me is so dark that it is clear to me..... when did my eyes start to see and judge and live in the physical realm.... when did I cease to see the good in people and see only what they looked like and what they had to offer me physically? when did I start to gladly expose my eyes, mind and heart to so much evil that I started to delight in it.... that it started to dwel in me? 

WHEN???? when did this darkness become .....a great darkness!!!???? 

Is there any more light in me? If there is, surely the darkness can not put it out! how do I let my light shine and kick out this sickening darkness?  

                                                                  

How do I serve the master that is truly worthy of my all!

How do I get my priorities straight.....and still make it in this world?

                         

All these questions I have....some I know the answers to.....some a still a complete mystery..... but all leave me with even more questions!