Supreme Blessedness - Beautification

Matthew 5:3-12

New International Version (NIV)

³ “Blessed are the poor in spirit,
    for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
⁴ Blessed are those who mourn,
    for they will be comforted.
⁵ Blessed are the meek,
    for they will inherit the earth.
⁶ Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
    for they will be filled.
⁷ Blessed are the merciful,
    for they will be shown mercy.
⁸ Blessed are the pure in heart,
    for they will see God.
⁹ Blessed are the peacemakers,
    for they will be called children of God.
¹⁰ Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
    for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

¹¹ “Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. ¹² Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

When I read this my heart broke at the realization of how far I have fallen.... I used to be blessed, I used to hunger and thirst for righteousness...  but I'm not lost forever..... I can still be these things..... the question is, Do I want to? 

I'm I poor in Spirit? How do I recognise the poor in spirit? What does poor in spirit really mean?

I have mourned and been comforted, I have been with people that are mourning but I dont think I was very comforting. What are the right words to say? How do you say them? Do you just sit there in silence? Do you mourn with them? Is it not up to you at all, can that sort of comfort only come from God?

Meek.....now this I am not! I wish I was sometimes... sometimes I'm proud and glad I'm not! Is this who or how God wants me to be? If it is, how do I become this? Do I want to inherit the earth? What does that even mean? 

Hunger and thirst for righteousness.... I used to... not so much recently... I know I want to.... I am trying to find my way back. 

Merciful.....not always..... I do try

Pure in heart..... far from it!!! If I could wake up one day and be pure in heart..... Oh what a glorious day!!! I don't even know where to start with this one or if it is even an option for me.

Peacemaker..... not always.... I should try harder though.

Persecuted because of righteousness....... I was when I was working towards it...... not anymore.... thought it would make life easier.... I thought it had worked for a while.... accept my humanity....accept who I am.... but it did not last long....this is not the definition of me... this is not who I am...long story short....I'm trying.

People insult, persecute and falsely say all kinds of evil against me because of Christ........I don't know if I'm ready for this or if I will ever be.....

Food for thought....not really sure what to make of all this.