Supreme Blessedness - Beautification

Matthew 5:3-12

New International Version (NIV)

³ “Blessed are the poor in spirit,
    for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
⁴ Blessed are those who mourn,
    for they will be comforted.
⁵ Blessed are the meek,
    for they will inherit the earth.
⁶ Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
    for they will be filled.
⁷ Blessed are the merciful,
    for they will be shown mercy.
⁸ Blessed are the pure in heart,
    for they will see God.
⁹ Blessed are the peacemakers,
    for they will be called children of God.
¹⁰ Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
    for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

¹¹ “Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. ¹² Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

When I read this my heart broke at the realization of how far I have fallen.... I used to be blessed, I used to hunger and thirst for righteousness...  but I'm not lost forever..... I can still be these things..... the question is, Do I want to? 

I'm I poor in Spirit? How do I recognise the poor in spirit? What does poor in spirit really mean?

I have mourned and been comforted, I have been with people that are mourning but I dont think I was very comforting. What are the right words to say? How do you say them? Do you just sit there in silence? Do you mourn with them? Is it not up to you at all, can that sort of comfort only come from God?

Meek.....now this I am not! I wish I was sometimes... sometimes I'm proud and glad I'm not! Is this who or how God wants me to be? If it is, how do I become this? Do I want to inherit the earth? What does that even mean? 

Hunger and thirst for righteousness.... I used to... not so much recently... I know I want to.... I am trying to find my way back. 

Merciful.....not always..... I do try

Pure in heart..... far from it!!! If I could wake up one day and be pure in heart..... Oh what a glorious day!!! I don't even know where to start with this one or if it is even an option for me.

Peacemaker..... not always.... I should try harder though.

Persecuted because of righteousness....... I was when I was working towards it...... not anymore.... thought it would make life easier.... I thought it had worked for a while.... accept my humanity....accept who I am.... but it did not last long....this is not the definition of me... this is not who I am...long story short....I'm trying.

People insult, persecute and falsely say all kinds of evil against me because of Christ........I don't know if I'm ready for this or if I will ever be.....

Food for thought....not really sure what to make of all this.

Fishing Men

Matthew 4:19 (New International Version)

  19 "Come, follow me," Jesus said, "and I will make you fishers of men."

The ultimate calling... the purpose we are all christians on this earth... seems basic but when you come down to it, it really isnt as easy as it seems.... not for me anyway!!!

Come.....
Leave whatever you are doing and just come, no reason, no justification, no debate, no determining whether you feel like it of not.... nothing about you or how you feel or if you want to.... Just Come!!! How do I do this?

Follow Christ.....
You don't have to know where he is going, how long he will be there for or the grand 10 year plan of how it all works out. You don't need a full job description or contract. Sometimes it might not even make sense to you at all.... All he is asking is that you follow.... sounds  easy....Why can't I????

Fishing....
Just thinking about it... all the hard work.... the uncertainty of results.... the stillness and complete surrender... I don't know if I can fish to save my life!!!

Men...
If catching fish isn't hard enough try fishing men!!! I don't even know where to start with this one.

I don't know what it is about my life right now but I'm not in a happy place, I feel I have lost sight of my purpose in life and have no motivation to get anything done anymore...getting out of bed is a struggle and doing what I should be doing is unaccomplished. Sad thing is, I know all the reasons I should be doing what I have to but it doesn't make me want to do it or even do it. Despite the fact that it is more than reason enough o. My mind no longer drives my heart or my will or my body. I'm lost in a pit I don't know how to get out of. Help!  

Needless to say, I am aware that fishing men has absolutely nothing to do with saving me or me getting my act together and I am aware that it is not about me at all... just saying. 

Repenting

Matthew 4:17

New International Version (NIV)

¹⁷ From that time on Jesus began to preach, “Repent, for the kingdom of heaven has come near.”

Jesus started off his ministry by calling for repentance. This got me thinking about what repentance really is. Growing up, I thought it was just saying sorry for wrong doing.... as I grew as a christian, I realized it is not only about saying sorry for doing wrong but also turning away from said wrong doing.... that is true repentance.

Out of curiosity I googled the definition of repentance, here are the top 5 results;

1. remorse for your past conduct.
2. To feel remorse, contrition, or self-reproach for what one has done or failed to do; be contrite.To feel such regret for past conduct as to change one's mind regarding it: repented of intemperate behavior.To make a change for the better as a result of remorse or contrition for one's sins.To feel regret or self-reproach for: repent one's sins. To cause to feel remorse or regret.
3. Repentance is the activity of reviewing one's actions and feeling contrition or regret for past wrongs. It generally involves a commitment to personal change and resolving to live a more responsible and humane life.
4. deep sorrow, compunction, or contrition for a past sin, wrongdoing, or the like.regret for any past action.
5. Repentance means a sincere turning away, in both the mind and heart, from self to God. 

This got me thinking and helped me realize that there really is a lot more to it than just saying sorry and turning away. It is more about the heart and how you truly feel about it. It is about understanding why you should not have done it and never wanting to do it again. 

Now that is food for thought for me....

Lord, Teach me true repentance.  

God Only!!!

Matthew 4:10

New International Version (NIV)

¹⁰ Jesus said to him, “Away from me, Satan! For it is written: ‘Worship the Lord your God, and serve him only.

This Got me thinking about all the other things in my life that I have let take priority over God and in a sense that I have worshiped because I have let them mean more than they really should to me.My hopes and ambitions, money, the love of my life, me..... and the list goes on. 

When did I become this person? I don't know..... How did I become this person? I don't know.... I do know that it has gotten me no where and I don't like it. 

God please help me be still long enough to listen to you and keep focused on what really matters. To allow you to be all consuming in my life.  

How do I not let myself get caught up in all the things this world has to offer?

Testing God

Matthew 4:7

New International Version (NIV)

⁷ Jesus answered him, “It is also written: ‘Do not put the Lord your God to the test.

This verse really got me thinking about all the times I doubt God or feel the need to test his power and ability to prove himself. I forget that he doesn't need to and I really should have no reason to doubt. Yet it sometimes happens!

                                 

I really have to think about this one a lot more. Please do share your thoughts and feelings on this.

Bread Alone

Matthew 4:4

New International Version (NIV)

⁴ Jesus answered, “It is written: ‘Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.

This did more towards confirming my great need to study the word of God (which sadly, I have been neglecting). And not just to study it but to literally feed on it..... to hunger for it.... to depend on it for life!!! 

There was a time when I felt like hat about the word.... not having to force myself because it is good for me but doing it coz I hunger for it... learning from it and trying to live by it.

I need to find my way back....

    

Fulfilling All Righteousness

Matthew 3:15

New International Version (NIV)

¹⁵ Jesus replied, “Let it be so now; it is proper for us to do this to fulfill all righteousness.” Then John consented.

For a start, this was a really confusing one with no direct message or should I say obvious message. So I read a bit more (really just a few verses before 15) and tried to put it in context. It was at a point when Jesus came to John the Baptist to baptize him. This is after John has been declaring his coming and pronouncing his greatness.

My immediate lesson or thought after this was that sometimes things do not make sense to us just as John was a little confused about whether he was deserving of this honor. Sometimes God has a purpose in things that we think we are not good enough to do or just don't understand. 

 After further thought (and reading a few more verses after) I started to think about it from Jesus' point of view, he was about to go into the garden to be tempted by the devil, this was the beginning of his ministry, this is where his ministry is officially commissioned by his Father before men. And I realized that he was simply following his Father's will and doing as was instructed which was a fulfillment of prophesies made long before his arrival!
                                                  

I need to learn to fulfill righteousness. To listen to God's instructions and follow them even if they do not make sense to me.