Repenting

Matthew 4:17

New International Version (NIV)

¹⁷ From that time on Jesus began to preach, “Repent, for the kingdom of heaven has come near.”

Jesus started off his ministry by calling for repentance. This got me thinking about what repentance really is. Growing up, I thought it was just saying sorry for wrong doing.... as I grew as a christian, I realized it is not only about saying sorry for doing wrong but also turning away from said wrong doing.... that is true repentance.

Out of curiosity I googled the definition of repentance, here are the top 5 results;

1. remorse for your past conduct.
2. To feel remorse, contrition, or self-reproach for what one has done or failed to do; be contrite.To feel such regret for past conduct as to change one's mind regarding it: repented of intemperate behavior.To make a change for the better as a result of remorse or contrition for one's sins.To feel regret or self-reproach for: repent one's sins. To cause to feel remorse or regret.
3. Repentance is the activity of reviewing one's actions and feeling contrition or regret for past wrongs. It generally involves a commitment to personal change and resolving to live a more responsible and humane life.
4. deep sorrow, compunction, or contrition for a past sin, wrongdoing, or the like.regret for any past action.
5. Repentance means a sincere turning away, in both the mind and heart, from self to God. 

This got me thinking and helped me realize that there really is a lot more to it than just saying sorry and turning away. It is more about the heart and how you truly feel about it. It is about understanding why you should not have done it and never wanting to do it again. 

Now that is food for thought for me....

Lord, Teach me true repentance.  

God Only!!!

Matthew 4:10

New International Version (NIV)

¹⁰ Jesus said to him, “Away from me, Satan! For it is written: ‘Worship the Lord your God, and serve him only.

This Got me thinking about all the other things in my life that I have let take priority over God and in a sense that I have worshiped because I have let them mean more than they really should to me.My hopes and ambitions, money, the love of my life, me..... and the list goes on. 

When did I become this person? I don't know..... How did I become this person? I don't know.... I do know that it has gotten me no where and I don't like it. 

God please help me be still long enough to listen to you and keep focused on what really matters. To allow you to be all consuming in my life.  

How do I not let myself get caught up in all the things this world has to offer?

Testing God

Matthew 4:7

New International Version (NIV)

⁷ Jesus answered him, “It is also written: ‘Do not put the Lord your God to the test.

This verse really got me thinking about all the times I doubt God or feel the need to test his power and ability to prove himself. I forget that he doesn't need to and I really should have no reason to doubt. Yet it sometimes happens!

                                 

I really have to think about this one a lot more. Please do share your thoughts and feelings on this.

Bread Alone

Matthew 4:4

New International Version (NIV)

⁴ Jesus answered, “It is written: ‘Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.

This did more towards confirming my great need to study the word of God (which sadly, I have been neglecting). And not just to study it but to literally feed on it..... to hunger for it.... to depend on it for life!!! 

There was a time when I felt like hat about the word.... not having to force myself because it is good for me but doing it coz I hunger for it... learning from it and trying to live by it.

I need to find my way back....

    

Fulfilling All Righteousness

Matthew 3:15

New International Version (NIV)

¹⁵ Jesus replied, “Let it be so now; it is proper for us to do this to fulfill all righteousness.” Then John consented.

For a start, this was a really confusing one with no direct message or should I say obvious message. So I read a bit more (really just a few verses before 15) and tried to put it in context. It was at a point when Jesus came to John the Baptist to baptize him. This is after John has been declaring his coming and pronouncing his greatness.

My immediate lesson or thought after this was that sometimes things do not make sense to us just as John was a little confused about whether he was deserving of this honor. Sometimes God has a purpose in things that we think we are not good enough to do or just don't understand. 

 After further thought (and reading a few more verses after) I started to think about it from Jesus' point of view, he was about to go into the garden to be tempted by the devil, this was the beginning of his ministry, this is where his ministry is officially commissioned by his Father before men. And I realized that he was simply following his Father's will and doing as was instructed which was a fulfillment of prophesies made long before his arrival!
                                                  

I need to learn to fulfill righteousness. To listen to God's instructions and follow them even if they do not make sense to me.

Introduction to my Bible Series

On Good Friday I watched "The Passion of Christ" and it got me thinking about my life.... like really thinking about my life....

I discovered or realised or narrowed down on a few things

1. I am selfish and too self involved.
2. I am immature both as a person and as a Christian.
3. I have let myself drift away from God to a point where I have lost my identity and do not really know who I am!!!!
4. I have lost sight of who I am, my purpose in life and what really matters at the end of the day!!! 
5. From all the "I" in the first segment of this post (and my thoughts about life)..... LIFE AND THE WORLD DO NOT REVOLVE AROUND ME!!! 

The big question really was and still is, how do I find my way back? I had a few thoughts....

1.  Remind myself everyday and every moment that it is not all about me.
2. Speak less... over the years I have become insensitive and gotten verbal diarrhea, I speak more about myself than I learn about others... this needs to change.
3. Stand still and know that he is God, Be silent and listen to his still small voice.
4. Study the word.... his word...over the years I have done lots of bible studies... a chronological study, a new testament study, devotional studies, women of the bible study, books of the bible, random verses studies... lots of them.... this time, I am going to do (due to lack of a better title for it) Words of Jesus Study... and I will share it with you.. I will also meditate on it day and night!! 

Please come take this journey with me..... and pray for and with me while you do.....maybe along the way, you might find your way too....
 

Tamsin

I met someone who changed my life. I offered her all I could and felt I hadn't offered her enough, yet she did not have much to offer me and yet I felt she gave me so much.

Walking my mom to the train station I passed by Tamsin, ever so polite. Not giving up, not feeling sorry for herself and by some miracle managing o still look good, clean and tidy. I walked passed thinking that was the best looking homeless person I ever saw. Is she really homeless? How did it happen. Yet still I walked passed. In a hurry with no time to waste, mom was late.

After dropping off mom, on the way back.... not my usual route.... I walked slower.... watched her as I approached.... same questions went through my mind. Ponytail held up.... neatly....excuse me mum, excuse me sir, good day mom, good day sir.... ever so polite. Seating in the street, cross legged, that could be me, it could be you....But would we be as graceful, as strong?

As I approached her, she greeted me with the same polite greeting she did a few moments ago when I walked past her with not as much as a second glance. I stopped and gave her all the change I had in my purse. And Walked on....

As I walked I started to wonder...... I couldn't just walk away. So I went back.... asked her if I could sit with her and I did. Right from the onset, she surprised me. She was a gardener that got an infection and broke her spine. She has two sons, 13 and 9. She has been homeless almost a month or two. I sat there talking to her and she changed my world.... My heart went out to her as we spoke and she fought tears when she told me about her son's event that she missed coz she couldn't afford the fare. I started to feel that I was causing her more pain than comfort so I thought I should leave. I got up and walked away.....

Again, I did not get far.... I went back and asked her if she wanted to come spend the night at the house I was staying at, she politely declined putting my interests and safety before hers. Should I have insisted? Could I have convinced her? Was it even my place to invite her over seeing as I was staying at somebody else's house? I walked away and all these things kept playing through my mind.

I went back to her. wrote down my phone number and asked her to call me if ever she needed a place to stay or a warm shower or cup of tea or meal as long as I was still around. We had another brief conversation and I walked away.... this time, at peace.

I walked away changed from the inside.... I hope she calls and I hope I can help her.... I hope she manages to pick herself up.... I hope many things for her... I hope she gets to know Christ. I hope she lives. I hope ad I hope coz I can't stop thinking about her.